163: What About the Mom?
There is no shortage of advice readily available for new mothers. From best-selling motherhood books, doctors, well-meaning family and friends, and even strangers, everyone seems to know what’s best for the baby. But what about the mom? It’s almost impossible for new mothers to even think about self-care when they have a new baby. Experienced mothers struggle with it too. However, new mothers need to carve out time for self-care. This allows them the chance to recharge and get some restorative downtime. It’s also a vital opportunity to look out for symptoms of more serious concerns, like postpartum depression and anxiety. According to the Office on Women’s Health, postpartum depression affects 1 in 9 new mothers. The good news is that there’s help, and our guest for today, Nangie Alexander, overcame her postpartum depression and is here to share with us how she did it.
What Nangie Wished She Knew Before Graduating – 04:04
When college comes knocking, most students choose their career paths based on their environment, what their parents want, and sometimes peer pressure. Sadly, most students end up picking the wrong paths because they never really explored all their options. Growing up in a Haitian family, Nangie was forced to conform to the typical career paths: become a doctor, nurse, lawyer, or a teacher. Everything else was frowned upon because her family believed that anything outside of that doesn’t guarantee job security. When she joined college, she didn’t take her time to figure out what she really wanted to do with her life and thus joined political science, just like her best friend. Her political science journey only lasted a semester, and she later settled on child studies, a decision she came to appreciate later on in life.
If you’re feeling pressured by your parents or society to take a particular career route, it’s time you took control over the important things in your life. It’s your life, and the path you choose will, in some way, contribute to your job satisfaction and general happiness in the future. Still, that doesn’t mean that you should disrespect your parents all in the name of following your dreams. There are better ways to do that, and one way is to highlight that they raised you well enough to make your own decisions.
Lessons Learnt After Graduating – 07:38
For natural introverts, building relationships with both professors and fellow students can be challenging. While there is nothing wrong with being an introvert, it always helps to build relationships outside your circle of friends, having mentors, for example. Additionally, if you ever have plans to join graduate school, having a reference list does wonders in boosting your odds of getting accepted.
Once you leave school and get a job, you’ll notice that office relationships can be a little complicated. You can expect co-workers who don’t like you or have an overly controlling boss, but one thing remains, always mind your own business. According to Nangie, work drama is entirely different from regular drama and can sometimes even cost you your job. So, focus on your job, build those meaningful relationships, get paid, and always remain professional even when your colleagues are not.
Nangie’s Journey Into Entrepreneurship – 11:25
As a new mom, it takes a lot of effort and sacrifice to get used to the new normal. For some moms, the typical baby blues often manifest into something more intense called postpartum depression. Regrettably, most women don’t know how to deal with postpartum depression. For Nangie, this new normal compounded by the fact that she was depressed compelled her to embark on a self-reflection journey. The journey helped her realize that other than being a mom and a wife, she absolutely loved writing. She also noticed that most women don’t know how to deal with postpartum depression, and her experience can help other women struggling with their new identities.
The Flipside to Being an Entrepreneur – 13:13
When you grow up in a family that believes that getting a good job is the only way to the top, entrepreneurship is something you’ll have to figure out on your own. Getting good grades and landing your dream job is great, but there are other ways to get to the top. After the birth of her first daughter, Nangie took up entrepreneurship and learned everything from scratch. And while entrepreneurship might guarantee freedom, it demands consistency, which can sometimes be pretty hard. Waking up every day and trying to come up with brilliant ideas is something every entrepreneur has to go through. But there are those days when ideas don’t flow the way you want them to, and that’s when imposter syndrome kicks in. If you ever feel that what you’re doing is not enough, try and reconnect to the reason you started in the first place. It may not conceive your next big idea, but it will definitely keep you going.
How to Invest in Yourself – 21:42
Before you became an entrepreneur, a mother, a wife, a husband, or anything else, you were you—a person with dreams, ambitions, and passions. Sometimes the day-to-day might be a little overwhelming and demand you limit the hours you spend working on yourself. If you used to enjoy getting your nails done or catching the game before life happened, go back to that. I know that it’s impossible to catch the game every weekend, but it wouldn’t hurt if you did it once a month. Life is too short to live a boring life. If you want to make it enjoyable, go back to doing the little things that make you happy.
Nangie Alexander lives in Buffalo, NY. She is a devoted wife and mother of two beautiful daughters. Her journey of becoming a Lifestyle and Motherhood Blogger began in October of 2018.
She is passionate about what it means to be a mother in today’s world. Using her own experiences, she inspires other women to live their truth and not to be ashamed of their journey of finding who they really are. She is married to her best friend, G. Alexander, and living her best life with their two daughters, Eden and Jolie.
Her faith in God is what gives her the strength to succeed. She loves to eat, read romance novels, and is an avid fan of R&B music. Connect with Nangie Alexander on LinkedIn.