206: Might Need to Check Yourself

More ways to listen: Apple PodcastsYouTubeSpotifyGooglePlay.

We all have our own special way of doing things, but there comes a time when life forces us to start doing things differently. Changing the way we’re used to doing things is like stepping into the twilight, a place where nobody knows what to expect. The problem with this normal way of thinking is that it keeps us safe and that’s not always a good thing. Being comforted is fine, feeling comfortable is needed but allowing complacency is where you should draw the line. Although comfort brings with it a sense of security, it can also prevent us from being curious, something we are naturally born to be.

What’s eating you up? – 01:01

Sometimes we find ourselves trapped in a space where we find it increasingly difficult to let go of the things that don’t add value to us. A couple of weeks ago, I found myself running in circles trying to figure out how to let go of this thing, and during that time, my therapist told me to try and highlight the good and the bad of the thing that was bugging me. I have to admit, I still haven’t done that, but everything changed a few days ago. I watched a TV commercial where they said, if you can’t change it, change the way you think. This gave me a light bulb moment, and I found myself thinking mmmmh, I must be going about all this the wrong way. What I learned was, I have always known things the way they are because they made me feel comfortable. And since I didn’t want to feel lost or anything, I’ve never thought about looking at things from a different perspective.

Acknowledging That Things Need To Change – 04:47 

The first thing I did was acknowledge that this thing that had caused me physical, mental, and spiritual turmoil wasn’t good for me. To be honest with you, I never really knew it wasn’t good for me because I needed it to function and exist at some point in time. Since I had adopted some kind of solace around it, the second thing I did was to let go of all the negativity around me. All those things associated with what was bothering me had to be dropped because they didn’t define who I was, and they, sure enough, weren’t going to define who I’m becoming. If something didn’t work out in the past, maybe a failed relationship or a missed opportunity, it’s time you let it go. 

Ineffective Coping Mechanisms – 07:22

Continuously trying to bring your past into your present to help you cope with something is an ineffective coping mechanism. This is because things have changed, and what worked for you in the past might not be as effective in the present as it was in the past. To try and drop them right now will be really difficult because you’ve relied on them for so long that dropping them will feel like battling an addiction. You might be afraid of what you’ll find once you make that decision, but the thing to remember is that no amount of planning can ever make you ready enough. Just get out of that comfort zone, start seeing things differently and I promise you, everything will start making sense. 

Start Looking at Things Differently – 08:10

My challenge for you today is to take some time and reflect on how you’ve been approaching certain situations. If that thing is not adding value to your life, it’s time you thought about letting it go. Whether it’s something to do with growth or something to do with your finances, the fact that you’ve transitioned from one stage of life to another means that some things have got to change too. You might be led to believe that it’s working, but that is just an illusion brought about by the comfort that you’re so used to. Remember, just because it’s comfortable doesn’t mean it’s right.

Let It Go – 10:18

Sometimes the history you have with the thing you’re struggling to let go of will make it really hard for you to finally move on. Until you try and think about it differently, you won’t realize that you’re wasting both time and energy. If it’s not making you happy anymore, it’s time you moved on to the things that make you happy. You won’t realize it at first, but that will prevent you from reaching your goals and pursuing the more important stuff. Even after trying to let it go and you still can’t move away from it, it’s time you considered seeking external help. 

How To Overcome Life’s Challenges – 12:30

The first step in tackling life’s challenges is by taking a step back and approaching the situation from a different angle. What you’ll find is that, by taking a step back, you’ll increase the field of view, thereby opening your eyes to even more possibilities. So, my message to you is that you can only help yourself when you’re willing to heal yourself.